Today, many people meet through social networks. This can be easier to do than on the street. This is how communication begins, and often further relationships between young people. But not everyone knows that you can write to the girl you like when you first meet her on the Internet, if you are interested in the photo and information posted about the person. This matter should be taken seriously. After all, you can ruin a relationship that has not yet begun by writing something ridiculous and unwanted that will make an unpleasant impression.
How to get a girl's attention from the first message
When you need to come up with a style of communication on a dating site that will make her want to continue communicating, you shouldn’t reinvent the wheel. All methods have already been invented and tested. The best option is an opener.
This is the name given to the first phrases at the beginning of communication, the purpose of which is to impress the person. They are based on attracting a woman’s attention, appealing to instincts and emotions.
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Provocative message
With the help of provocation, you can force anyone to respond to a message, especially a girl. On various dating sites, provocation is a catalyst for starting communication. The main thing is to refrain from vulgarity and outright rudeness. Here is an example of a good intriguing message:
- “Can I ask you an immodest question of an intimate nature?” The girl will tense up, but this will draw attention to the person who wrote it.
- "Where do you work? Not among photographers, designers or artists? This will surprise and relax the young lady. She will ask whether the question is intimate or immodest.
- “Like what? This is personal information. And the personal is the area of the intimate.” The guy will provoke initial emotions and reactions, and the lady will consider him “not like the others.”
In this case, provocation has nothing to do with incitement, since it does not have aggression directed at the partner. Here it is stimulation, motivation, play, but not conflict.
Create suspense
When looking for a suitable message to meet a girl on the appropriate site, you should try to create intrigue: “Hello. And I know something about you. Something that no one else knows about...” After such words, she cannot resist and asks what the young man means . You can also use the following templates in the first message:
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- “Who do I see online! What are you doing here?".
- “You’ll never guess what I liked about you. These two qualities are incompatible. Most guys don't like them, but I like them."
Women have a natural tendency to be curious, so they won't rest until they know all the answers. It is important to remember to take pauses between writing messages.
Give a compliment
Everyone likes flattery. When a guy doesn’t know what to write to a young lady, a compliment is the way out of the situation. The main thing is not to write banal things. Proper flattery is a piece of jewelry. For example:
- “Your style is perfect” instead of just “You are beautiful.”
- "Hello! You know, I’m one of those annoying guys who think you’re incredibly beautiful!”
- “How many men have gone crazy because of your beautiful look with a slight drag?” instead of "I'm drowning in your eyes."
- “Your parents should be given the Nobel Prize. Or what is due to the people who created a world masterpiece?
Important advice: when composing a compliment, you should carefully study the girl’s profile. By paying attention to details and little things, you can prove yourself well: “You have beautiful, neat wrists. Did you know that this is a sign of aristocracy?”, “Unusual dress. Is this shabby chic? Your taste is enviable." Having learned to generate personal compliments for each lady, a man will conquer more than one young lady.
Directive style
Pick-up artists call their dominant style of communication direct. With its help you can attract almost any woman. It works flawlessly when meeting beautiful young ladies who are in search of a “real man.” With the help of dominance, they mask inexperience in communicating with the opposite sex, as well as fear and the presence of complexes. Using a directive style, you can enter the image of a confident and strong man, a fearless male:
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- "Beautiful lady! I liked you. Write the phone number. See you in appropriate surroundings."
- “Hello, oh unforgettable one. We have a date tomorrow. What time will you be free?”
But before writing in this style, you should make sure that the photo in the profile matches the chosen image.
Before you write your first message
Firstly, if you want to meet people on the Internet, then you must have a great profile, filled out correctly and with good photos . Because the girl’s reaction will depend 70% not on what you write to her, but on your photos, how cool you look in them.
Secondly, you shouldn’t rely on any specific girl either . Because for so many reasons communication may not work out. For reasons beyond your control. She may be in a bad mood, her beloved hamster has died, and so on. Anything. And after an unsuccessful start, it will be very difficult to successfully continue communication.
Thirdly, when the value of a particular girl at the dating stage is high for you, you start doing ineffective things, and she disappears.
So here it is. After you have more or less put your VK page in order, you can write your first message.
Building a dialogue after the girl’s answer
If the girl responded to the message, then the guy did everything right. But he can safely be called a “chatterologist” if he did not get the young lady’s phone number at the very beginning of the conversation.
While the lady is giving the young man her full attention, he should get her number and invite her on a date. For example, horse riding is suitable. Options such as cafes, cinemas and restaurants are not suitable. There is no opportunity to communicate at the cinema, and it is too early for a couple to visit secluded places for privacy and kisses. In addition, the restaurant can be expensive; it is not known what dishes the lady prefers. You need to seize the moment, don’t forget about the friend zone, which is difficult to get out of.
Mistakes that ruin communication
Not every guy can find the right phrases for the first message. Most likely, trying to compose the text of a letter to an unfamiliar young lady so that it makes her smile and interest will require time and frequent training. Initially, you need to try to avoid mistakes. Of course, if a guy has the beauty of Brad Pitt or immense charisma, then even in response to a ridiculous message he will receive an emoticon with a smile. But such a combination is rare, so it’s not worth the risk.
Hackneyed phrases
Before you write to the girl in the first message “Hello. How are you?”, remember the female style of photographing, called “duckface”. So, the phrase “hi-how-are-you” irritates young ladies just as much as it irritates guys with “ducky lips.” It’s better to ask the girl about something else in correspondence. The first letter should be unusual. Cliches and hackneyed phrases have no place here. When using them, 9 out of 10 girls will simply ignore the message. Filtering ideas is simple: don’t write the first thing that comes to mind.
Beard jokes
You can interest a lady with a story or a joke. Women love guys with a sense of humor. But at the same time, it is important to come up with something fresh, and not use jokes that were told back in Soviet times. Not only will they not cause the desired reaction, but they will also repel the young lady. She will consider the man boring, uninteresting and completely devoid of imagination.
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Topics about sex
Sexually suggestive phrases should not be used. Moreover, these include not only letters like: “I would like to look at you up close,” but also various words of admiration for the lady’s figure, even if her profile contains a photo in a swimsuit.
If a guy uses direct style, sex is also taboo. On the Internet, it seems that everything is allowed. But it is not always the case. “Baby, you're sexy. I want to get to know you better” - such a tackle will lead to her sending the guy on a luxurious but distant tour. Although there are exceptions. Yesenin also wrote: “Always and at all times, good, kind girls went crazy from hooligans.” Psychologists also say that young ladies like aggressive, vulgar and rude men.
Here it is important not to go too far and stop in time, especially if the young man sees that such a manner of communication does not arouse enthusiasm in the lady.
Boasting
Sending a letter claiming to have an IQ above 150 is not a good idea, nor is simply bragging about your achievements. She definitely won’t sing serenades of praise or fall into an intellectual swoon. When you see a tattoo on her shoulder, you don’t need to tell the girl about the chemical components of the ink. It’s better to write that the young man also wants to get a tattoo. Ask what designs women prefer and where it is best to get them done (arm, back). Ask the master for advice.
Illiterate messages
Before sending a message, you need to re-read it again and correct any mistakes. In this case, it is necessary to pay attention to the placement of commas. There are now many online services that allow you to check what you have written. If the message turns out to be long, then they will come in handy.
It is unlikely that a girl will find fault with the presence of minor errors in the letter. But if it is clear that the guy is not friendly with the Russian language and its rules, then this will scare her away.
Deception
A fake profile or page with a cat in the avatar is unlikely to be suitable for dating. No girl will date a guy who doesn’t have his profile photos and whose friends include a clothing store and a psychiatric hospital. In addition, if a young man really wants to meet a lady and continue communication with her in the future, then he should not lie about his age, work, or hobbies. You can’t hide an awl in a bag; sooner or later the truth will come out. Then he will have to explain himself for a long time.
A pity
The desire to press pity in order to attract the attention of a lady is one of the common mistakes of guys. There is no need to talk about how his girlfriend left him and he feels bad. Yes, the young lady will take pity on him. But this is where the communication will most likely end. Besides the fact that women don’t like to watch guys who throw dirt at their exes, it’s worth remembering one more life axiom.
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A man who arouses pity in a woman will not become a contender for the role of her companion.
Aggression or obsession
It seems that these are basic things, but many men forget about them. Often the first messages are full of various “che” or obscene language. When a lady does not respond to a message or simply refuses to communicate (even if this is done indelicately), you should not stoop to insults or intrusive attempts to change her decision. Even if he never meets this girl in person, he should maintain his dignity and not be rude.
Information or photo on the guy's page
Before writing to a woman, it is important to critically examine your page on the site. It must inspire confidence and be interesting, so it is necessary:
- Upload real photos. At the same time, take a few pictures of nature or excursions.
- Completely fill out information about yourself, indicate your hobbies, favorite music and movies.
- Get rid of compromising photos, videos and erotic groups.
What to write to a girl when meeting online - the best examples
To get acquainted, you need to know what to write and how to properly present the first message to a girl. Don't forget about preparation. If you really want to find a person for a long-term relationship, you need to choose a real, not fake young lady with similar hobbies, who has a completed profile and a photo gallery. It is also important to take care of your account - clean the wall of unnecessary entries, update your avatar. After all, your chosen one will be curious to know about your preferences and outlook on life. So, let's get acquainted!
Original greeting - let's start right
It is not advisable to write a long appeal. The greeting should contain information and answers to questions that may arise in the young lady’s head when receiving it:
- Who writes to her? First of all, you need to introduce yourself. State your name without abbreviations or distortions, this will eliminate impudence.
- The purpose of the message is important to the object of your attention, and, of course, it is the desire to communicate. Therefore, there is no need to be original - you should reflect this fact in your message.
- To make a lady feel special, it is important for her to know why you approached her. To do this, spend a little time and look through her page; later you can point out one or another favorite activity that can unite you. At least your chosen one will understand that this is not a template by which you glue everyone.
What to write to a girl when you first meet on a social network (VKontakte, Odnoklassniki) - the most successful examples of phrases:
- “Hello, Marina! My name is Andrew! By chance I came across your page and saw a video about Karelia - I’ve been wanting to visit there for a long time. Can you tell me a little about this trip? Most likely, the girl will not refuse such a small amount, and then you can go a little further. “I myself am fond of traveling around our country, I can recommend interesting places to you. Maybe we can meet in a cafe and chat, especially since we live in the same city?”
- “Hello, Anastasia! I'm Mikhail, I saw in your feed that you attended the Rasa concert. I didn’t manage to go, but now there is an opportunity, but I don’t know if it’s worth it? Did you like it, what do you recommend?” Girl: “Of course, go, they are performing songs from the debut album, it was great.” You: “Let’s meet, I saw on your page that many of our hobbies coincide, we could have an interesting time!” Girl: “I don’t know you at all.” You: “You can go to my page, there is a lot of information about me there. Besides, we can meet in the park or in a cafe.”
- “Hello, Olesya! My name is Alexander. I came to your page and felt a desire to chat, especially since you have such a kind and charming smile in the photo. It would be nice to meet in real life, it turns out we have so much in common - I, like you, love animals and good music.” Girl: “Isn’t it too fast, we don’t know each other at all?” You: “This is a good way to remove this obstacle. We can just take a walk in the park or drink coffee, and at the same time you’ll tell me how to properly care for a puppy, apparently you have experience.”
As you can see from this brief overview, simplicity is always brilliant, and the message can consist of just a few concise, but informatively succinct sentences.
What topics are suitable for interesting communication?
It may not be possible to arrange a personal meeting for the first time, but if the lady has shown interest in at least some details in the correspondence, you should not sit idly by.
What you can write when meeting a girl to interest and even intrigue her:
- Communication will be interesting if it is a discussion of new films, albums of vocal performers. If the young lady likes the dialogue, she will easily agree to go to a concert, cinema or theater.
- Active leisure, travel, hiking – this is a fascinating topic for many. The commonality of such a hobby often leads to a decision to spend a weekend together in nature or go on an excursion.
- If the interlocutor is into sports, like the guy, they will quickly get along and find a common language. In this regard, you can ask her what diet she follows, how her workouts are going. Surely the girl will start talking and feel understanding from her new acquaintance. This gives a chance for a future meeting.
- Pets are one of the favorite topics for young people. Usually they like to post photos of their pets on their profile. If you take the time to find out what animals the girl keeps at home, this will allow her to act in the right direction. It’s even better if the young man also has a dog, cat or turtle, then success is guaranteed.
- The classic theme is work or study. A person is always pleased to share his achievements or receive moral support when not everything is in order. Be sure to ask how she spent her day, ask if she needs your help. Attention to the problems of a young person or good advice can be an important starting point in a relationship.
- With some representatives of the fair half of humanity, you can talk about relationships. If the lady agrees to carry on the conversation, the guy can get a lot of useful information out of it.
In a word, you can write about everything that concerns the interests of your chosen one. To do this, just watch the videos and photos on her account and go through the communities in which she is a member.
Questions to ask girls in correspondence
When you have liked a person, you want to know as much as possible about him. On the other hand, it is simply necessary for a young man to understand how his chosen one lives in order to behave correctly and achieve reciprocity. Therefore, you need to avoid platitudes and ask wisely.
Here is a list of questions that are appropriate during the first communication:
- Are you studying or working now, where, if it’s not a secret?
- What are you going to do in life?
- Do you have any favorite or memorable places in the city?
- What genre of music do you like best?
- Do you have a favorite actor, actress, singer or musician?
- Are you interested in dancing?
- Do you like active leisure?
- Would you prefer to relax in the mountains or at the sea?
- What kind of sport are you interested in?
- What activities do you prefer on weekends?
- What books are you interested in?
- Do you have any favorite shows?
- How often do you visit the theater?
- Do you like extreme rides and entertainment?
- How do you feel about roses, or are some other flowers closer to you?
- Are you an optimist or a pessimist in life?
- Do you like beautiful soft toys?
- Where would you go with more pleasure - to the cinema or to the museum?
It is correct to ask neutral questions that cannot take the young lady by surprise. No one likes to feel embarrassed or out of place, so we leave everything personal for later. But this is not enough, try to connect your questions logically, do not behave chaotically, because women love strong, seasoned and intelligent men.
Correspondence options
It is best when all options for compliments and tackles are formed individually for each girl. But to get started, you can use the following examples:
- “Have you read the Constitution? It says there that depriving a person of the right to happiness is punishable by law.”
- “It was today that I realized why I needed to register on this site.”
- “Among the photographs I found pictures of Rome. Do you love him as much as I do?
- “I lost the bet and as payment I have to take the most beautiful woman on the site on a date.”
- “I don’t think I’ll be the first one trying to get to know you. But I'm better than the rest. Will you check?"
It is also worth remembering the options that it is better not to write to a girl when meeting her:
- “You look great. Would you like to meet?
- “Let’s get acquainted and meet.”
- "Hello. And you're beautiful. Let's get acquainted?".
- “If I interest you, write!”
There is a chance for further communication
You need to be prepared for the girl’s various objections and not give up. The main purpose of the first letter is a personal meeting, since in this situation communication for the sake of communication does not make any sense. When at first she doesn't agree to a date, but continues to correspond, you just need to give her time. In 2-3 days she will agree to meet. She just needs to get to know the guy better.
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This definitely won't work
There are certain messages that you should not write to a girl, as they will push her away and kill her desire to start dating. Examples:
- "I'd like to see you up close."
- "Hello! How are you doing?".
- “Would you like to take a ride in the Hummer?”
- “You know, I liked you. True, I myself don’t understand why.”
- “You remind me of my ex-girlfriend. Only more beautiful!
- “I think that in terms of status we are not suitable for each other. But I’ll take the risk of meeting you..."
- “In sex, I prefer the 69 position from the Kama Sutra. What kind of person are you?”
- “Girl, can you tell me how best to spend 10 thousand dollars?”
- “I’m coming to you based on an advertisement. Are you giving out a phone number for free?”
- “Mademoiselle, does your mother need a son-in-law?”
- “You are terribly beautiful. I’m afraid to meet people.”
Original messages
To attract a girl's attention, you need to be original. Everyone will appreciate the non-standard approach and unusual sense of humor. Examples of successful messages for correspondence on dating services:
- “What are you doing this evening after our meeting?”
- “Do you think I like you more than you like yourself?”
- “Hi, please tell me how to cook dumplings correctly?”
- “Your nose is so joyful!”
- “You don’t know how to make birch jam?”
- "Hello! Today is such a good day. Do you mind if I cheer you up?"
- “Do you want to meet a cute guy? And here I am!”
- “Your eyes are so beautiful, what color are they?”
- “Let’s bet you can’t guess your name.”
- "Hello! I am a seller of happy moments. But I’ll give it to you for free!”
- “I look at the photo and understand that I simply have to meet you!”
- “I fell in love with the appearance so much that I forgot about the acquaintance. Hello!".
- “How did you realize that I was on the site?”
- “You know, before I met you, I was confident in my gay orientation!”
- “Do you remember how you dreamed about me?”
- "Can you help me? I want to learn how to communicate with women!”
- “Do you think I want to meet you? But no! I want to invite you on a date!”
It’s not difficult to meet a beautiful girl on social networks or on dating sites. The main thing is to adhere to the primary rules and not be afraid of pitfalls. Avoid platitudes, then it is quite possible that ordinary correspondence will turn into a long-term passionate relationship.