How to meet a girl on VK (VKontakte)

Internet

15.07.20191778

Using the social network VKontakte is not only about listening to music, chatting in groups and exciting attempts to find a person by mobile phone number in order to approach him. The owner of the account, who knows how to communicate pleasantly and has intelligence, can easily meet a girl here, and then start dating in real life. Let’s try to figure out how to interest the person you like.

How to start a conversation with a girl on VKontakte

Original greeting in the first message

A greeting can be chosen without much difficulty, but an original one has a better chance of getting a response. The banal phrase “Hi, how are you?” most girls do not have any enthusiasm. An exception may be the case when you have a really interesting page, a lot of photos that can attract many Internet users without further ado. Otherwise, it is better to show resourcefulness. For example, you could write: “Hi! Finally I found you! Then you can clarify why this fact inspired you (compliment some aspect of her personality, appearance). You can also immediately show a serious attitude: “Hello! You are very interesting! Would you like to take a walk and get to know each other?” Of course, a rare girl will immediately agree to a meeting, but, for sure, it will be noted that you are not writing with the goal of simply “chatting on the Internet,” but have real intentions for a meeting.

What to talk about with a stranger you like

It will be best if you start a conversation about the girl herself. Show interest in her person, ask a few questions, give compliments, comment on some of her photos (not under the pictures themselves, but in personal messages, so that you can definitely count on a response).

What can you ask during correspondence to get to know her better?

Ask what she does - work, study or something else. Find out if she has any hobbies, what places in your city she likes, where she would like to visit (both in your city and in any other).

Questions that should not be asked in an SMS letter

You should not be actively interested in her personal life at the first stages of correspondence. Often information about the presence or absence of a lover can be found on the girl’s personal page. In any case, if the interlocutor answers you willingly and is clearly interested in dialogue, then you hardly need to worry. Be that as it may, the first meeting or refusal of it will clarify everything. Of course, you shouldn’t ask those questions that, in principle, are quite tactless, if people are not close - about the amount of wages, about the availability of property, and the like.

What interesting things to tell about yourself to impress her?

Tell us about your achievements - perhaps you have them in sports or career. It is possible that you are interested in some hobby - this may also interest her. If you don’t have any special hobbies, then it makes sense to find them! This way you will increase your chances of being an interesting conversationalist, and in general, a new step in self-development will never be superfluous.

What to write to make her feel good and make her smile

Most girls love compliments, and, of course, they help lift their mood. It is important that they are not trivial! She, of course, will be pleased to read that she has “beautiful eyes,” “a gorgeous figure,” and the like, but it’s better if you really pay attention to her features. Example: “You have such an unusual eye color, it looks like amber” (appropriate for light brown eyes).

Examples of messages when dating

Let's look at a few examples of messages at the initial stages of dating: “You have a very cool playlist, I “stole” several masterpieces from you,” “Add new photos more often, it’s nice to look at you!” etc.

Where can you meet people on this social network:3

Entertainment publics. Almost all of them have open comments on posts and have discussions where you can chat with someone and find common interests.
Thematic publics. For example, dedicated to musical groups or video games. First, you can share your favorite music with subscribers and thus make new friends. And in “gaming” communities there are always opportunities to find people to communicate and play together.
Publics for dating. They have enormous functionality in order to conveniently search and communicate with people who also want to find friends or a soul mate.
“City” publics and publics like “Overheard in...”. Communities dedicated to the life of a city, school, university or other social organization. There you can easily find people who are interested in communicating with like-minded people and fellow countrymen.

Dating through search. VKontakte has an excellent search robot that allows you to very finely filter a huge number of accounts by place of residence, gender, age, education and even popularity. With its help, it will not be difficult to find an ideal interlocutor, friend or life partner.

Of course, everything is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. The fact that people do not communicate face to face, but that there is a monitor between them, somewhat changes the rules of ordinary communication. And meeting someone you like on VKontakte can turn into a real adventure, which sometimes ends not in favor of the person who wants to meet.

How to interest a girl you like

Comment on her personal photos or like her

If a girl posts photos on her page on a social network, then it is obvious that she wants them to be noticed and appreciated. Regularly tag photos in which she is present. To avoid the impression that you like everything, mark neutral pictures selectively, but do not deprive them of attention to those where she is present. Also, some photos should be commented on - especially those that she puts on her profile picture. For example, in VK it is absolutely not necessary to leave verbal comments of the same type under a photo. Instead of words, you can easily attach some cute GIF that expresses your delight or a musical composition that hints at your train of thought.

Compliments about your favorite music on her page

Surely, any girl will be pleased if her musical tastes are appreciated. In general, any person likes it when his choice is considered interesting. If a girl pins a composition she likes “on the wall” (for you or herself), be sure to like the post, and you can add a suitable comment. If you see interesting songs on her playlist, then mention it.

Build a simple dialogue with questions so that she can answer easily

If you want your interlocutor to feel comfortable communicating with you, then structure the dialogue in such a way that it does not evoke ambiguous feelings in her. That is, forget about tactless questions. Perhaps you doubt whether this or that question is tactless - in this case, consult a more experienced friend or friend. Many girls don't like questions about weight, family problems or past relationships, and so on. Try to communicate with her on topics that are close to her - you can probably find out about her interests on her personal page (in the information about yourself or using posts on the “wall”).

Search for an applicant

This is the most critical stage, which is associated with a large number of difficulties. The girl does not want to get an experience with a negative connotation and disappointment instead of a romantic love story.

You should not make acquaintance with a person whose profile is not completed. This “pig in a poke” can turn out to be a very unpleasant interlocutor or, conversely, a great guy. After the conversation begins, it will be difficult to say about the lack of sympathy, so as not to offend, so it is better not to take risks with empty accounts. In addition, if a young man does not fill out information about himself, it means he is not looking for acquaintances.

READ

How to ask a guy out on a date: methods and actions

How to complete the first communication-acquaintance so that there is a desire to communicate in the future

The main rule: do not delay the first communication, trying to find out everything possible about your interlocutor and “load” her with a lot of information about yourself. Let the girl have at least some space for thoughts and guesses about you. It is important to show that you are interested in her, but you should not write yourself down as a crazy admirer who almost has a wedge of light on a new acquaintance. These guys quickly end up in the friend zone. After talking a little with the girl and arousing reciprocal interest, write that, unfortunately, you need to leave the Internet, but you hope for further communication. It's better to mention that you're currently going for a workout, a bike ride, going to a water park with friends, or something like that. This way, the girl will get it in her mind that something interesting is going to happen to you now, and, probably, in this case, you yourself are quite an interesting person, and she won’t get bored with you.

If you notice that there is clearly mutual sympathy on the part of your interlocutor, then it would not be a bad idea to ask her for her phone number. If she does write it to you, be sure that she is considering the possibility of meeting you, and if you begin to delay this event, then her interest may fade. Also, do not be upset if the interlocutor does not give the number, arguing that she would like to first get to know you better through correspondence or something like that. For many girls this is really important.

Let's start communication

Although the Internet has somewhat blurred the idea of ethics in communication, we will still adhere to the limits of decency. Let's start with the usual greeting and explain the purpose of your address.

A few examples:

"Hello! I saw your page in my feed and I really liked you. How are you?".
"Hello! I accidentally came across your page and saw that we have the same musical tastes. How do you like the latest song %artist_name?
"Good afternoon! I saw your comment in the %group_name group and couldn’t pass by without writing to such a beautiful girl.”

Do you want to learn a lot more interesting things: how to quickly make your VKontakte page attractive to girls and how to learn to write truly “catchy” messages? Then we strongly advise you to read Yegor Sheremetyev’s new free book, “Secrets of Successful Dating on VKontakte.” You will find our impressions from reading and the download link in the detailed review from the editors of ManLife24.

How often should you write to her?

If she's online all the time

In this case, as in others, it is important not to be intrusive. If you are not one hundred percent sure that a girl is on VK solely for the sake of communicating with you, then you do not need to constantly write messages to her. Please note that she may not be online for the sake of dialogue at all - perhaps she is simply listening to music, reading information that interests her in a group. It's easy to check. Write a message and wait for a response. If there is no answer, then you should not write after: “Are you ignoring me?”, “Hey, why don’t you answer?”, “Aw!” etc. This can be very annoying! The exception is a question of primary importance that requires an answer within a few minutes, and at the same time you have no other way to contact the interlocutor. Note that such a case is quite rare or does not happen at all.

If you want to get a response to your message, then make sure that it has at least some content. Some guys can write in response to a joke: “Ha-ha!”, and wait for a response from the interlocutor. At the same time, many girls do not at all think that they need to respond to this. Subsequently, the guy may even be offended by such “inattention.” If you recognize yourself in such a scheme, then try to get rid of the habit of “artificially maintaining a dialogue.” You need to correspond with interest, and not play ping-pong with meaningless phrases, emoticons, etc. Many girls gradually get tired of such communication and try to avoid it.

If she hardly surfs the Internet

If a girl rarely uses VK or another social network, then, of course, even if you want, you will not have time to tire her with your messages. However, this feature of the girl reveals a certain trait of her character. Apparently, she has little interest in virtual communication or does not consider it something significant and serious. Then you shouldn’t expect much development in this direction. This suggests that you should transfer communication with your interlocutor to a different format - ask for a phone number or arrange a real meeting.

VKontakte audiencei

Before looking for friends and life partners in this place, you need to find out what kind of people live on this site. According to statistics, there is almost zero activity on this social network among people over 45 years old. The largest number of users are young people under 24 years of age.

The survey showed that people from this category use this social network in 92% of cases. Most of these users are on the site to communicate and consume a variety of entertainment content. That is, people in this place feel light and relaxed. And, what is important, they are ready to communicate with new people.

VKontakte has a huge number of diverse communities of interests. Here you can find both small amateur groups “for your own” and large “publics” of an entertainment nature, news magazines and representative offices of large brands and various projects.

On this social network you can meet absolutely anyone – the variety of tastes among users is simply amazing. You will be able to find both fans of Japanese animation and supporters of political parties. For communication and dating, VKontakte is an ideal platform.

What to do if a girl doesn't respond to messages

First, try to determine why this might be happening. We propose to consider several possible options for such behavior.

1. She doesn't have time

Perhaps she needs VK exclusively for business communication, and she simply does not have time to communicate with friends and acquaintances. However, if so, then the girl will most likely tell you about it.

2. She is not interested in talking to you.

Alas, a similar option cannot be ruled out, and there may be many reasons for it. Maybe she was not very interested in you initially, and over time you were unable to change this situation. It is also possible that at first she considered you as a serious admirer and had some far-reaching plans, but for some reason you were unable to maintain her interest.

3. She is passionate about others

Many girls prefer not to waste time communicating with several young men at once, and focus their attention on one chosen one. If a girl is seriously passionate about another person, then most likely she will answer you quite rarely and in monosyllables, and perhaps she will not see the point in further communication at all. Of course, it may also be that she will soon lose interest in another object of sympathy and turn her attention to you. Girls are often very vulnerable when breaking up with young men, and often try to drown out their disappointment by communicating with another guy - it is quite possible that it will be you.

4. She's offended

Think about whether the reason for your interlocutor’s cooling could be that she is offended by something. Analyze your last correspondence with her. Were there any tactless jokes on your part, inappropriate questions, incorrect remarks, unnecessary information about another person? Perhaps, based on some direct or indirect signs, the girl concluded that you are interested in another person.

5. You are too intrusive

It is possible that the interlocutor is not delighted with the style of communication you set. Consider whether you are being too intrusive. This option is likely if your message is much larger, if the girl does not ask you any questions to support the dialogue, if she does not write first, does not read your messages for a long time (being on the Internet), and tries to give monosyllabic answers that do not imply further development of the dialogue .

Having determined the reason for the girl’s silence, act based on this information. If you understand that a girl is not interested in you, then showing resentment or an abundance of additional messages will not change the situation. You need to get her interested in other methods. Gradually stop writing to her (she will probably notice the missing fan), and do something really interesting. You can visit beautiful places or unusual establishments by posting a kind of photo report on VK, you can also find an exciting hobby and also demonstrate its fruits to your friends online. The main thing is that this is not a “one-time event”. Fill your news feed with interesting events and you will attract the attention of not only this girl, but many others as well. Please note that some girls, even with a high degree of interest, do not write to guys first, especially after a long pause in communication. After the described personal changes, write to the girl yourself, simply asking how she is doing. Based on her answers, you will understand whether she has become interested in you. If this does not happen, then it is better to pay attention to another person.

Also, in order not to get lost in senseless guesses, you can directly ask the girl why she doesn’t answer you. There is a high probability that she will give you a sincere answer to this question.

Examples of dialogues

It is impossible to predict the answers of a young lady on VKontakte, so it is difficult to think through a clear line of communication in advance. However, there are five main ways to start a conversation that will get you interested. Choose the closest one and use it.

Direct style

This style is daring. This guy doesn’t rack his brains before asking what interests him. He immediately shows determination and assertiveness. The style is suitable if self-confidence is really at a high level, otherwise when you meet, all the romanticism of the situation will be lost. It is important not to go too far. Excessive insolence often develops into rudeness, which looks terrible. Examples of key phrases:

Awful weather. Let me come!
I'm in a taxi, already calling. Dictate the address, I'll be there in half an hour.
A bad mood can be solved with a glass of good wine. You have 20 minutes to get ready, let's go to the restaurant.

With intrigue

Girls love to intrigue, unlike guys who have close to zero experience in this matter. There are many ways to get acquainted in order to maintain interest. You need to pretend that you know certain compromising information about the girl. It is important not to reveal that this is a joke until she comes to the meeting or writes her phone number. Start examples:

I know something about you, there are photographs.
I accidentally came across a video where you did a great job. Show?
A friend wrote to me about you. It turns out you live an interesting life!

Phrases for simple acquaintance

For regular dating, you don’t need to think about what questions to ask a girl. A simple greeting and honest recognition of why you are writing to her are enough. Intelligent guys are liked more often than daring and self-confident guys, because they don’t cause rejection. To start dating, just remember how you do it on the street or in any other ordinary situation.

Question options

A simple acquaintance looks standard, but don’t rush to give it up. To get acquainted correctly, appear to her as an intelligent person. Don't insist on getting to know each other, but try to show self-sufficiency. If a girl is interested in literature (photos of books, saved images of certain works), ask her opinion about a novel she has read, which she has also read.

The same can be done when discussing films or interesting places. Phrases for dating:

Have you read the novel...? Surprisingly, I liked it. And you?
Are you really passionate about modern cinema? What did you like about the latest news?
Did you really cook all the dishes according to the recipes from your wall? The guy is lucky to have you!

Focus on the individual characteristics expressed on the social network page.

Non-standard approach

An interesting story or joke that requires an answer is a way to get to know each other. You can also start with the young man writing his phone number and sending it under the guise of an error in the addressee. After this, the girl is invited to exchange contacts. An invitation to a movie or theater from a stranger looks unusual. The guy sends a photo of two tickets, and after that he writes that the young lady should not take up the evening, since she already has plans.

Why doesn't the girl text first?

Many guys pay attention to the fact that some girls prefer not to start a dialogue, but only respond to their initiative. It is important to understand that this is not always a sign of low interest in the interlocutor. It just so happens that a significant number of girls are convinced that it is almost bad form to write to a young man first. What arguments do they use for this?

"Respectable girls don't chase boys."

Often this is the attitude that many mothers instill in their daughters from childhood. Relying on their experience, which often corresponds to reality, young women explain to girls that young people often do not appreciate people who “go into their own hands” and “hang themselves on their necks.” Also, from a young age, girls hear the statement that “men by nature are hunters,” which means that they can only be truly attracted to something that still needs to be fought for. It is for this reason that some girls not only do not write to young people first, but also do not call them, do not initiate meetings, and the like. They are simply afraid, thus, of losing the interest of the chosen one. If this is really the case, then she will probably react quickly when your initiative is shown.

She doesn't like you.

As sad as it may be, this option is quite possible. The girl didn’t see you as a potential boyfriend, and therefore simply sees no reason not only to initiate some kind of communication on her own, but sometimes she supports it rather sluggishly. It is possible that she initially indicated her attitude towards you, but you continue to be persistent, but it may also be that out of politeness or for some other reasons you do not clarify this point, believing that you will figure it out yourself.

She doesn't want to be in the crowd.

The girl assumes that you already have enough pen pals without her, and it’s unlikely that she stands out as something special to you. Most girls want to feel “chosen” and do not agree to the role of “extras”. It is quite possible that she is mistaken, and you do not have an abundance of interlocutors, but this does not change the essence - she really believes that you already have someone to communicate with, and she does not plan to sit on the “spare bench”. It is possible that you yourself created the appearance of your popularity. This spurs some people, but there are also those who, on the contrary, are “slowed down” by this state of affairs.

Humiliation.

Surely, many guys will find this strange and stupid, but some people actually believe that writing to a young man first is something akin to humiliation. It is difficult to say where such thoughts come from in the head of this or that person. Most often they are dictated by negative experiences previously experienced with another guy. Perhaps the girl often wrote to someone, showed obvious interest, and ended up being humiliated in some way. Girls who feel this way about taking initiative are rare, but they still happen.

Resentment.

If before the girl still periodically initiated a dialogue with you, but gradually this faded away, then there is a high probability that she is simply offended by you for something. Surely, you can guess for yourself what could be the reason for the offense - to do this, read the latest correspondence or ask the question directly.

Considers herself obsessive.

Perhaps, before, the girl often wrote to you first and gradually she began to get tired of this state of affairs. She felt that she was being too intrusive towards you and did not see enough interest on your part. Not wanting to look in an unattractive light anymore, she decided not to initiate communication anymore, and thus test your true attitude towards her.

You're not her type.

She may like you as a person and as a friend, but she doesn’t want to give you extra hope for a possible relationship. Many girls have their own idea in their minds about what their ideal chosen one should be, and they try not to deviate from the intended “course”.

Be that as it may, at the initial stage, do not focus the girl’s attention on the fact that you do not like her lack of initiative. Until you become her boyfriend or potential boyfriend, you don't have much value to her, so such claims will most likely only push her away. Just let her know that you always look forward to messages from her, and you are pleased when she writes to you. Subsequently, if the relationship reaches a serious level, then, of course, it makes sense to raise this topic and find out the reasons for the lack of initiative.

Women's mistakes

In an effort to please a guy and look cooler, many girls go too far and make serious mistakes:

Instead of short and succinct messages, entire letters are written. There is no need to present the text as a continuous canvas, otherwise the guy will not want to read it and determine the essence of what was written.
They swear. Such vocabulary does not make a girl look good in the eyes of a new acquaintance.
They impose themselves. There is no need to try to fill all the space in a guy’s head. It’s worth taking breaks and giving the right to take the initiative to your interlocutor.
They flatter. You shouldn’t waste your time and praise everything. Men are sensitive to falsehood.
They write illiterately. Spelling and punctuation errors do not show the girl in the best light; what is written is difficult to perceive, so the guy will not continue the conversation.
They go overboard with emojis. Some girls are able to encrypt huge texts with emoticons. When meeting a guy, it is better to limit yourself to 2-3 emoji in one message.

It’s easy to meet a guy on VKontakte if you prepare your profile and start correspondence with the right topic. Observing the boundaries of communication and personal space will help develop communication and not frighten off the object of sympathy.

Pickup phrases and topics for meeting a girl on the Internet

If you want to hook a girl by correspondence “at the start” of your communication, you can use some of the phrases below.

"I like you! And I like you, do you want to prove it?” — after that, bring the girl to a personal meeting.
“I can’t understand – are you really so beautiful or is it still photoshopped? Just kidding, you can’t create something like this with Photoshop” - after that you develop the topic, describing what impressed you about the girl.
“Finally, I found my muse! Whether you like it or not, you will be my inspiration,” such a passage will certainly be appreciated by the potential interlocutor.

Dating places 2

Of course, users themselves are aware of the number of opportunities to meet and communicate with new people. Almost every community has discussions in which subscribers can simply chat about thematic or free topics.

Communication between community members is highly encouraged by leaders - they constantly hold competitions, surveys, and sweepstakes just to stimulate the activity of group members. But there are also specialized places for dating, both general and thematic.