Statuses for girls and women that are perfect for your page on Odnoklassniki or VKontakte


Statuses with pepper

1. Daddy's boys can do anything, but just don't use bad language in communities.

2. “Hello. What are you doing?" from the creators of “Hello. How are you?"

3. Life is a very individual thing. Think about it, you can only change your status on your page.

4. Modest income is good because you inevitably learn to be content with little.

5. Censorship is not necessarily obscene words.

6. Conflict with reality is scary, but not fatal; conflict with virtuality is more difficult.

7. Those who get up early are online at 5 am.

8. The problem is when you can no longer find a suitable emoticon for the text of the message.

9. Don’t hesitate, even a nesting doll cannot have several lives.

10. If you think that you are not a drug addict, think about what you are on.

Funny VKontakte statuses

Come in, lie down, hello

If you woke up on the street, it means you fell asleep there

The terrorists who seized the distillery have been unable to formulate their demands for the fifth day.

Cleanliness is pure mass over pure volume

Viagra plus diphenhydramine - love is like a dream

Our trains are the fastest trains in the world

We wish you happiness, health and creative Uzbeks

The one who got up first gets the slippers

God created woman later because he did not want to listen to advice when creating man.

Be sure to get married. If you get a good wife, you will become happy, and if you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher.

Love is not just for you, you have to do it

A genius sleeps within each of us, and every day it grows stronger.

Tell me what you're thinking about and I'll tell you what.

I'm an honest woman, that's why I'm dear

A girl is like a calculator: she adds problems, takes up time, multiplies expenses, divides property!

Whoever you hang out with - that's what you want

The Russian language without swearing turns into a report

Every man has right to left

If the food on your table is not suitable for your dog... maybe it's time to kick out this snickering brute?

If Eve did not cheat on Adam, then why did humanity come from apes?

I amuse myself with my funny face

No one has ever died from knowledge, but I don’t want to risk it.

Dear visitors! Don't throw cigarette butts in our urinals, we don't pee in your ashtrays!

A drop of nicotine kills a horse and tears a hamster to pieces

Ivan Tsarevich jumped for three days and three nights until the rope was taken away...

My eyesight is bad, I can’t see money

There are so many girls who are good, but are attracted to something bad.

After what the government has done to the people, it must marry them

Relatives are a group of people who periodically gather to count themselves and have a tasty meal due to a change in their number.

It's good to be a battleship. The tower was demolished, four remain

White and fluffy is actually gray and hairy

Remember! If someone annoys you and you make a face, 42 muscles are involved. But you only need to use 4 muscles to hit him on the head.

Whoever you hang out with is the one you'll get with

The wind in the head is never fair

Modest people will not die of modesty - they are shy...

Inscription in the toilet: Nothing good will come of you!

According to the company that produces the Fairy cleaning product, there are a lot of fatty guests left after the feast!

Hound of the Baskervilles? This is Mumu, who managed to swim out!

If the smoke spreads along the ground, go back and turn off the iron; if it rises in a column, you don’t have to come back.

If a person is happy for more than one day, it means they are hiding something from him.

It's better to oversleep than to undereat

Set big goals - they're harder to miss!

The longest end is at the working day

A chicken's eggs don't fall far

It’s good to do nothing, and then relax...

Hello, men and women, as well as those who still have everything ahead

As it turned out, in Chukchi “vegetarian” means “crooked-armed hunter”

Never argue with a fool, he will bring you down to his level and defeat you on his territory.

Tell me, have you had any pregnant women in your family?

Seeing you is one pleasure, not seeing you is another.

No matter how much vodka you take, you still have to run twice

If you send a fool for a bottle, the fool will bring one

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it

Never eat the last cutlet from the frying pan: you won’t be satisfied with just one cutlet, and you’ll have to wash the empty frying pan.

There is no holy place with a bust

Slippers rattled on the floor

There is wisdom in a wife, strength in beer, microbes in water

It's good to be brave, but scary...

You have to live in such a way that you envy yourself.

If you're arguing with an idiot, he's probably doing the same thing.

No one can bring us to our knees! We lay, and we will lie!

Life is like a dog sled: if you don't go ahead, you see the same thing all the time.

Every time I leave the hairdresser, I am tormented by the same question - why did they ask me how I wanted to cut my hair?

People not only die from non-compliance with TB, but also are born.

Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and it’s a pity to die healthy...

In some, the main hemispheres are protected by the skull, in others - by pants.

Unusual phrases

The ability to surprise is the main skill of a group leader. In addition, you can use the tips to set the VKontakte group status.

1. Status: I put a status simply because the empty line annoys me.

2. A public book especially for those who like to read public books while eating.

3. They say that you dream of dirt to bring good luck in life. They also say that there is dirt in the comments for the ban.

4. You don’t need brains to join a group, but you do need it in order not to leave it.

5. The best status is the one that makes it funny to your friends and can be shown to your grandmother.

6. By the phrase “head in the anus” I did not mean your intelligence at all. I was simply reminding you of your striking resemblance to an octopus.

7. This public is as beautiful as an iPhone. Plus, it's completely free.

8. This group is not for the superstitious: they will either scow or jinx it.

9. No, it's not that cold. Except, of course, for the thermometer, which I didn’t dare leave in such cold weather.

10. Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends, don’t have a hundred cows, but have all your enemies.

Quotes under photos on VKontakte

VKontakte is the social network on which we most often communicate with friends and relatives. There we watch their lives and look at photos. The bravest ones express their opinions, share thoughts, and publish poems and quotes on their pages.

It is often difficult to choose a phrase for a photo so that it conveys the mood and briefly describes what you would like to convey. Searching the Internet for “that same thought” can last for hours. We have collected the best quotes for any occasion. They are great for posting under photos on VK, and definitely make you think. In them you will definitely find a reflection of yourself and your thoughts.

Cute statuses

As you know, kindness never goes out of style. Let's fill the statuses in the VKontakte group with it!

1. Don’t worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will come, then you’ll look for a way out.

2. Every princess should have a prince. Either there are no princes, or princesses

3. In any incomprehensible situation, pretend that you are a cat, and there is no need for you to put such difficulties on yourself.

4. We are looking for adventure, but we hope that nothing bad will happen.

5. No one forces you to love forever. Just remain human in any situation!

6. Or maybe tears were invented to wash away the dust from the heart?

7. British scientists have proven that being in a bad mood does not solve the problem, but a bottle of champagne really does.

8. There is no need to eliminate those who can make you cry with happiness.

9. According to statistics, everyone who has a suffering status wants to change it to a romantic one.

10. Sometimes there is much more happiness in a casual glance than in the most ardent embrace.

Quotes for groups about love for VK

Hello everyone, check out Quotes for groups about love for VK:

Shut my mouth with a kiss or... I'll scream how much I love you.

Is there everlasting love in life? Yes, of course, only with different people!

Friendship can do without love; love without friendship is not. Vasily Osipovich Klyuchevsky

He is not mine... but I belong to him.

They do not enter into the truth except through love. St. Augustine

It’s funny to my friends, but your thoughts are more important to me, they don’t know that I love you more than life itself.

You always sleep worse in someone else's bed. Colette

In love, there are evil thoughts, and suspicion of every word on the part of one of the lovers, and understanding of them from the wrong side - this is the root of reproaches between lovers. Ibn Hazm

Cheating on your wife is immoral. Not changing is stupid. But it is known that the cause of immorality is stupidity. Vicious circle. David Samoilov

It happens sometimes. Well, you know, this kind of stupid syndrome. When it seems that he really loves.

A woman is like a tea bag: you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Nancy Reagan

Dying for love is not difficult.

Marriage is the miracle of transforming kissing from a pleasure into an obligation. Helen Rowland

But there are no chance meetings... This is either a test or a punishment or a gift of fate.

It is not human nature to love someone who obviously hates us. Henry Fielding

Love is war...easy to start...hard to end...impossible to forget...

Men love to perform strong-willed actions, the consequences of which fall on the shoulders of women. Wilhelm Schwöbel

All! Tired of it! I'm leaving for a monastery! In the men's!

True love will never die. Stephen King. Nona

I once killed love... Now it has returned and is slowly killing me...

They are wasted in vain: a moonlit night, if you are sleeping; beautiful places if you don’t admire them; wife of a young rake. Huang Yun-chiao

I went for a walk on the rooftops and thought about you...

Love is a disease, the symptoms of which manifest themselves differently every time. Andre Maurois

I want love, warmth, tenderness, flowers and chocolate!

- Your love is too hard. - Too heavy? Love either exists or it doesn’t. Easy love is not love at all. Toni Morrison "Beloved"

We suit each other so perfectly that our love is destiny.

Marriage is like a mirage: it always seems more beautiful from a distance. L. Uyda

Your smile is the light of love.

Don't trust a woman who has been caught being unfaithful. Today she is faithful to you, tomorrow - to someone else. Karl Kraus

To my beloved girl.

You keep your body clean, but your soul is still a whore

A magical country called you...

Love may be blind, but neighbors are not. Evan Essar

When faith dies, love dies too

Women lie easily about their feelings, and men tell the truth even more easily. Jean de La Bruyère

For some people, their first love is not their first!

If you want to exchange the adoration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead and get married. Katharine Hepburn

There is only one love! But there are a lot of fakes for it!

Sometimes a man wants to be alone, and a woman also wants to be alone, and it hurts everyone to feel this in the other if they love each other.

Love does not tolerate explanations; it needs actions.

What a woman's eyes sometimes promise does not always correspond to her intention. Wilhelm Schwöbel

We begin to truly love only when we lose the one we love...

A bad and treacherous person will turn love into enmity and confusion if he aligns himself with friends. John of Damascus, saint

For some people, their first love is not their first!

Whoever knows nature not through love will never know it. Friedrich Schlegel

It happens sometimes. Well, you know, this kind of stupid syndrome. When it seems that he really loves.

You should never trust a woman who tells you her age. A woman capable of this is capable of anything. Oscar Wilde

It's hard to be friends when you want to kiss

Living is the same as loving: reason is against, healthy instinct is for. Love. Either this is a remnant of something degenerating that was once huge, or it is part of something that in the future will develop into something huge, but in the present it does not satisfy, it gives much less than you expect. Anton Chekhov

You can’t command your heart... You can’t prove it to your brain...

What is a mistress? A woman around whom you forget what you knew by heart, in other words, all the shortcomings of her sex. Nicola Chamfort

I can feel you even if you are not around...

Love is the manifestation of the immortal principle in a mortal being. Plato

Tell me why... why are you giving me hope?

Love is when you get up early to make him a cup of coffee, and the coffee is already ready.

My dream is to fall in love. Marry. Give a birth to a baby.

You can put a light under her eye so that she loves you more deeply - this is your personal business, but do what she asks. O.Henry

The kind of guy a girl becomes like that.

Love tolerates domestic squabbles so poorly that for lasting happiness you need to find outstanding qualities in each other. Honore de Balzac

Love is like soap, the harder you squeeze, the faster it slips out...

There is everything in red tape except love. Fr. La Rochefoucauld

Heart, be quiet! Don't give it away...

Just as discord is the cause of premature death, so love brings good like-mindedness and a completely fearless and calm life. Fedor Ivanovich Karpov

Sometimes you need to move further away to be closer.

To love deeply means to forget about yourself. J. - J. Rousseau

The most pleasant thing in life is to fall asleep with the thought that I mean something to you...

My conviction is that he who imposes the yoke of marriage upon himself is a fool, even worse, a sinner. He is a fool because he gives up his freedom without receiving an appropriate reward for it, and a sinner because he gives life to children, but cannot guarantee that they will be happy. A. Humboldt

For people like us, everything will definitely come true!

The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest that he might be too old for it. Shirley MacLaine

Bitchiness is not a vice, but an immunity with beautiful appearance.

Love has never stopped anyone from realizing their dreams. Paulo Coelho, Maktoub

Love is a game in which the one who takes it seriously loses...

The man is loudly indignant at the woman who stopped loving him, and is quickly consoled; the woman does not express her feelings so violently, but remains inconsolable for a long time. Jean de La Bruyère

Smile! A smile is the second thing I love about your lips!

The severity of character among women is the whitewash and rouge with which they highlight their beauty. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Very short statuses about love

The birds are freer than youth. Who can hold on to love? Joy is given to everyone in succession; What happened will not happen again. Alexander Pushkin

At first, it is easy for lovers to talk to each other. I am me, you are you, and everyone else is of no interest. Robert Louis Stevenson

If you are disappointed in one, do not punish the other. And you will find Happiness.

He no longer loves this woman he loved ten years ago. Still would! And she is not the same as before, and he is not the same. He was young and so was she; now she is completely different. He might still love the old one. Blaise Pascal

Love is what makes you smile even when you are tired.

Love alone is the joy of a cold life, Love alone is the torment of hearts: It gives only one joyful moment, And there is no end in sight to sorrows. Alexander Pushkin

I thought that I couldn’t live without it, but no, here I am sitting... eating...

True love beats the heart like lightning and is silent like lightning.

Love does not live, but survives among jealousy, stupidity and pride.

Love conquers everything, let us submit to its power. Marcus Tullius Cicero

I beg you very much - do not become my past.

If a girl is forced down the aisle, then virtue often ends. After all, a spouse can be calm for his honor only if he himself is worthy of love. And if husbands have something growing on their foreheads, let them blame themselves - not their wives and not fate. Moliere

I have everything... except your post on the VKontakte wall...

The song around the fire fascinates women more than the power of a hunter getting food. Wilhelm Schwöbel

It’s hard to see you... to love and hate... to wait and hope...

Do not bring an evil wife into your home, even if she is rich: You will be a slave to your wife for the sake of a heavy dowry. Phocylide

What will I do without you, my youth is wasted!

Frivolity has always been a companion to beauty. Propertius

Just one word love can change the whole world!

Love should not fog, but refresh, not darken, but brighten thoughts, since it should nest in the heart and mind of a person, and not serve only as fun for external feelings that generate only passion. John Milton

Take my hand - hold on, you are more than...

He understands nothing about women: he offers money to ladies from society, and dedicates poetry to corrupt women. And what is most surprising is that it is always successful. Kurt Tucholsky

Of all that is eternal, love has the shortest life...

VK Quotes

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You don't have to be correct, you have to be real...

You need to arrange your life until life starts to suit you.

If you feel like I'm allowing myself too much, maybe you're just denying yourself too much.

The cheapest commodity in the world is the opinion of others about you.

Time lost in pleasure is not considered lost. John Lennon

Happiness is when someone hears the unspoken words with their heart and understands everything.

There is something great in every minute, like happiness.

Short statuses for a girl will decorate the page well

  • When a guy turns to look at you and stumbles as he walks, this is the most sincere compliment.
  • Chinese sages say: saints sleep on their backs, sinners sleep on their stomachs, queens sleep on the right side, wise women sleep on the left... I’ve been tossing and turning for a week now, I can’t decide
  • I don’t know what I’m always doing, but I always have no time!
  • No kilometers are scary if you know that at the end of the road, they are still waiting for you.
  • If a guy leaves you of his own free will, then he must work for another two weeks
  • You don't have to be born tall to be noticed - dynamite is stored in small boxes
  • I will never support the conversation that all men are assholes, there are enough men in my circle that I can be proud to know!
  • Girls, don’t be sad and smile more often, because we are the eighth wonder of the world!
  • I love our tights. I haven’t put it on yet - I’ve already torn it))
  • To win a woman, you need patience, to maintain attention, to lose indifference...
  • Treat people the way you want them to treat you. Give your husband some tights!
  • I think I’m pregnant: I’m sick of work and drawn to the salty sea.
  • Bitch! - thought the two women, smiling sweetly at each other.
  • There must be one person in charge in the house.
  • When men look at you admiringly, it’s nice! But when women look with envy, you understand that life is good.
  • Probably every girl has torn tights in her closet... And they are stored there because “oh, you can’t see them under your trousers anyway”!
  • Forget peace, who decided to rule over a woman?
  • - Mom, we had a fight. - Well, daughter, this happens to everyone. - Yes, but what should I do with the corpse?
  • Straightened her hair - for rain; styled her hair - towards the wind; laid it out beautifully - for a hurricane; there is chaos on my head - I met everyone I knew.
  • I know the password, I see the ATM... It seems to me that my husband will not be happy tomorrow...

Cool quotes for VK

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I will take a thousand steps to meet you, but not a single one after you...

It's hard to be a woman! I constantly want to buy something, beat someone up, lose weight and have a pie!

There are no hopeless situations, there are situations from which you are not happy with the way out.

Missing someone is the most beautiful of all sad feelings. Maria Parr

Don’t trust someone who speaks beautifully, there is always a game in his words. Trust the one who silently does beautiful things.

Why do you need armor if you have nothing inside to protect? Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I heard the sound of hooves behind me, probably because my thoughts were running through me.

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